|Me:||*sits in towel for 6 months after showering*|
|friend:||i'm not a fan of sutton foster|
|me:||i'm not a fan of your existence|
|Les Miserables:||Stealing a loaf of bread may seem like a good idea, but it will literally fuck up your entire life.|
|Spring Awakening:||If you get laid, you die. If you don't get laid, you die. Also don't trust your parents.|
|Chicago:||It's ok to murder people as long as you wear lingerie and can sing and dance.|
|The King and I:||Racism doesn't count if you sing about it.|
|My Fair Lady:||People will like you if you talk like you have a broom stick up your ass.|
|Hairspray:||In the 60s, people will hate you if you're overweight, UNLESS you also hang out with black people.|
|RENT:||AIDS really blows.|
|A Chorus Line:||If you ever audition for a musical chorus, you better have a goddamn good story as to why you became a dancer.|
|Grease:||If your boyfriend doesn't like you, change absolutely everything about yourself to please him.|
|The Phantom of the Opera:||When choosing between a controlling boyfriend and a sociopath composer with a messed up face who dwells in an opera house's basement, take your sweet damn time.|
|Rocky Horror Picture Show:||Finding refuge from a storm in a mansion who's owner is a transvestite will make you inexplicably horny, and seemingly bisexual.|
|Love Never Dies:||Let the crazy woman run off with your son. You may never see him again but you'll get to be with your deformed lover and at least you won't die.|
|Wicked:||If your born green and people make fun of you for it, fake your own death and run away with a scarecrow.|
|Starlight Express:||Believing in the great train god will solve all your problems and get you a girlfriend.|
You have no idea how jealous I am of you.
I can’t tell if Amanda Bynes is really in need of help, or if she is pulling off the most amazing and fully...
Liz Phair | Why Can’t I?
Liz Phair (2003)
“Oh you’re always so happy, you can’t be depressed”
“You’re depressed? It’s because you’re fat. Lose weight and you’ll be...